Car Humour Links
May 11, 2009
Urban Myths have always been a fav of mine. I remember the first one I heard about a vette that 2 people had died and rotted in the car and because you could not get the smell out the car was $50. I was thinking even as a kid that the mill and tranny were worth at least $75...that was like a kazillion chocolate 10 cents a piece Snopes .com has a great list of Urban myths auto related. Check them out
Funny Bailout Ad...found floating online...
This is one of the first car humour sites I found on the Internet and it is still a scream. Trevor Boicey from Ontario has put this together, and he is a multi talented guy, with links to his band and his different cars. Utterly Obscure British Car Humour

"We all know about the Ford Model T and the Volkswagen Beetle. But there is only One Car made this century (from 1922-1939 to be exact) that can be said to have influenced every car ever made. One Car that has no more than seven degrees of separation from any other car extant. One Car that is the center of the automotive universe. The One Car that is the lowly AUSTIN SEVEN."

"Pretend you're in prison and make a license! The Acme License Plate Maker. No Provinces, but all states."
"The photo on the left is all that is left of a very funny website touting Semi Trucj=k sized SUV with names like the Dominator and the Fornicator..with a Hot Tub in back. The website is gone now, but it was fun while it lasted. It was also one of the first humourous car sites that I printed out the pages to show people without computers.:"

"General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did . . ."

Bumper sticker by category make this a pretty funny and usefull site.
I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables
Awkward's Humour and Sillies
Automotive Engineering
On automotive engineering:

* If a component requires 4 fasteners to hold it together:
* The English will use 4.
* Italians and French will use 3.
* Germans will use 5 (removable grade 8 hardware).
* The Japanese will make it out of plastic and it will work fine.
Apparently mistakes form Insurance forms...or not

* Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

Be careful what you wear (or don't wear!), when working under your vehicle...
From Australia's Sydney Morning Herald, comes this story of a couple who drove their car until it broke down in a shopping mall parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches to his head.

(reported by the Sydney Morning Herald)
Jokes .... A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding.
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows.
German automotive phrases (with apologies!)
The following were collected from Saturday Traffic School (for moving violation offenders).
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
A real estate mogul in Beverly Hills buys a BIG, new, full-load Mercedes-Benz.
Automobile Tool Definitions

Phillips Screwdriver:

Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

Examination for Florida Driver's License
19. If four (4) people pull up to a four-way intersection, who goes first?
___ Whoever got there first
___ Whoever has the biggest car
___ Whoever has the biggest gun
___ Who said anything about stopping?
The New Automobiles Apple will debut the first ever iCar. Apple says it will be so easy even your grandmother could drive it. With just one gear, one speed and a number of preset destinations, she can�t go wrong. Hey, that is cool.
"The Internet License Plate Gallery.
A collection of auto license plates that have an Internet theme. Part of Internet Outlook, a biweekly column on the Internet from Net-guru Rich Wiggins."
"LandRover Humour is a little Different

* If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks".
* When you dream of burned Lucas electrics when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed"

"Former Yugo executives probably wish that the cars would have drawn as much attention at auto shows and dealer showrooms as these recycled Yugos do now".
Not strictly Humour per say but pretty good.
©Cam Hutchins 2002
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